Registry and Gifts

We don't have a registry, and your presence is our favorite gift! Awww, we love you!

If you feel like this is an outrage and you MUST GET US SOMETHING, thank you! <insert nicely worded statement about gratefully accepting small contributions towards food and lodging><insert nicely worded statement about contributing to organizations we support or something><maybe we'll actually get a registry but really it's too early to tell>

Predators on the loose

Nobody ever expects to have their hard-earned cheetos stolen and consumed by a vicious soon-to-be-spouse. But that's exactly what happens to Zac on regular basis when there are not adequate Maddalena snacks in the house. Help Zac raise funds to install Maddalena-proof boxes in several safe locations in the house.

Mischievous garments

There is an infestation of ambulatory pants in our house. It has gotten so bad that sometimes they crawl off of Zac while he's not paying attention. The only way to combat this problem is a regimen of rigorous obedience training for the pants, but it is very expensive. If we can't raise money to train his pants to stay put, we will have to glue them to his body.

Disturbing to the public

Horrifying chunk errors are becoming more frequent, causing additional stress among already incompetent villagers. Help Maddalena investigate the problem through lengthy observation and scientific repetition.

This is almost certainly *not* an excuse for me to play Minecraft. Definitely not. How could you even think that? Completely altruistic. The villagers.

Note: Zac has brought it to my attention that he appears to be giving you, the viewer, the finger in one of these photos. I'm not going to say which, in case you (like me) had no idea this was the case. He also expressed extreme skepticism towards my claim that I didn't notice this, citing the fact that I was the one who spent all those couple seconds making this into a meme on imgur, and that I took the picture in the first place, and, most suspiciously, did all the post processing. His suspicion is unfounded, but, upon review, he does indeed appear to be giving someone the finger (contrary to my initial appraisal of the suitability of this picture for a wedding website). But, dear reader, the recipient of that finger is the compulsion that drives us into the orange bag, and not you, so I'm leaving it.