I feel like it's tradition to share way way way more information about this process than anyone actually wants to know, so you'll now be subjected to my version of this, which I shamelessly inflict upon you. If your initial response to this is "eurrrgh, what?" just skip it. You've been warned.
Things we have: An awesome wedding planner (Hi Emma!!), our venue (yeah, it would be weird to invite you somewhere we hand't reserved, huh? But I checked and they definitely deposited the check! Ha!), basic food, lodging for everyone (you can book your own hotel and commute up if you want, I guess, but ??? why? *shrug* suit yourself!), a dress (guess which one of us is wearing it??? HUH??? surprise!), and as of today, an excellent wedding photographer (Hi Allison!!)!!
My favorite part, the remaining action item list...
- Come up with a list of photos we want, ideally ones that will annoy my mom. If she asks, tell her that yes, the photography contract DOES state that I will only be photographed while making ridiculous faces and/or wearing a mask. Because at a wedding you should be your true self, right? And my true self is best expressed with absolutely horrible facial expressions and alarming sinister masks.
- Find a giant crown
- Talk myself out of wearing a giant crown
- Reconsider: maybe it should involve antlers and/or cactuses?
- Figure out what parts of the food to upscale. Probably will not involve massive crab legs, but depends on exactly how massive these legs can be. No.
- What is the most cost-effective yet awesome-sounding karaoke setup we can rent?
- Decide whether we want to file in in front of the guests (risking tripping, forgetting how to walk, really unfortunate concentration faces, etc.), descend dramatically from the trees, or make the guests file in while WE watch THEM! Decisions, decisions.
- Figure out exactly how tall my traditional Wedding Combat Boots can be
- Determine whether I'm capable of doing my own makeup (suspicion: probably. The operative word is "slather" in these situations right?)
- Find a hair-wrangler, possibly for both of us since we both have unruly hair. Seriously, I've been quite sick with the Disgusting Sinus Thing, and it took me a full hour to return my hair to being individual strands this afternoon when I finally started to feel better after lying about piteously for a couple days. There's no way. Help meeee.
- Invitations, I guess. That's less fun, but I suppose necessary.
- Figure out which friend of ours would be most uncomfortable officiating, and ask them to do it. Heh heh heh. Just kidding! Maybe.
- CRAFTSSSSS FOR FIVE MONTHS STRAIGHT! I'm gonna make a bouquet out of rocks! Yeah you definitely don't want to catch it unless you really like rocks falling on you! The chairs will be stacks of mason jars covered in burlap! Not slidey with a potential to break into shards near your hindquarters at all! We'll all be eating off of organic tree stumps and using rustic stalks of wheat as utensils! The centerpieces will be live chickens! I heard barn weddings are the thing now so that makes sense, right???
So, there you have it. The last one might be a slight exaggeration, but you really can't be sure, now can you. Aren't you excited???